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Better Days… Like Tomorrow

By Brad Groux ⋅ May 23, 2007 ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ Post a comment

One step I’ve always taken in my life is to live everyday like it was my last; well if not my last at least I try to live it with the reckless abandon of a child. You remember when you were young, playing in the back yard or playground or anywhere you felt safe and carefree? The freedom that you felt then is one that I have tried to wake up and fall asleep with my entire life. For the majority of my life I had no problem doing it, I truly had no worries in the world and the problems I did come across I brushed off of my shoulder knowing that tomorrow was a new day with new events on the horizon… nothing will ever be thrown my way that I can’t handle. Somehow over the last few years I lost some of that carefree attitude, and I feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself in the process.

Close your eyes and ponder with me for a moment. You’re a child again and on a swing or riding your bike or or just laying in the grass… the sun shining upon your young face, those chubby cheeks and a slap bracelet on your wrist; God I miss that. Obviously we all have different experiences and memories of our childhood but even in the worst of times or circumstances your young mind would wonder off in the bliss that is a life with no worries in the world. Now I don’t want to act like I’ve completely lost this feeling because I haven’t, I’ve just lost the perspective that this is how I should be living my life every day. For about 25 years of my life I refused to grow up, move on and be a responsible adult… to this day, three years later I am still fighting that battle everyday.

I find myself on a constant high-wire act trying to balance myself between the life that is expected of me by my family and the outside world and the life that I want to live for myself. I don’t really feel pressure to be this great leader or amazing worker or talented person, yet in the back of my mind I feel that if I don’t strive for these things then I am letting someone down. Is that someone me? I don’t know. Is that someone my friends or family? I doubt it… so why do I have this feeling? Why do I feel the need to put myself in a miserable position day after day, to strive for a life or goals that in the end are rather meaningless? I have a feeling that I’m not the only person out there thinking these thoughts, why do we put ourselves through it all?

In this ever-changing world filled with fear, terrorism, cynicism, decadence, hatred and the unknown it is easy to lose track of the important things in life. Regardless of what you do or make of yourself the only real important things in your life should be your faith, family, friends and how you live your life. Don’t live the life that you think others want you to live, live the life you want regardless of what others think… otherwise you aren’t really living it at all. Anyone can act like a drone and work 9/5 for a middle-class living, marry, have 2.5 kids, a dog and a cat… it takes real passion to live the life that you feel you are destined for. Obviously having a beautiful family is far from a horrible act, it is easily the most beautiful thing you can do in your life, just live a life that would make your family proud. Life is a journey, take a scenic detour every once and a while.

Call it a cliché but for some reason I continually look to a movie to help me put my life into perspective. The following quote from Fight Club, while not the most eloquent words ever spoken I believe they sum up my thoughts pretty well. “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.” To me these lines aren’t telling me to give up, they are telling me to live. The normal life in America and the world isn’t as beautiful as it used to be, so make your life abnormal. Wake up tomorrow, do something different, make yourself feel like a kid again. Walk in the rain, take a chance and do something, anything to make you feel alive again.

We are all guilty of wearing a facade, refusing to show our real sevles to the outside world. Well, for me that time is over and I hope it is for you as well. I’m an extremely ridiculous person, but ridiculous in a good way. I’m goofy, a hopeless romantic and someone that will forever live his life with the carefree abandon of a child. I know at this point it is simple for me to speculate about how I will go about living my life with no cares, I am single guy who makes decent money and has no family… will my outlook on life change when I have the beautiful wife and children that I hope to someday have? I’m sure it will, but I also hope I sure as hell will do my best to make sure that we all live a life where we wake up everyday with no real worries in the world. Call it a false hope, I don’t care… I respectfully reject your reality and substitute my own.

I’m not really sure my reasons for posting all of this, at this point it seems more like the ridiculous dialogue of a chatty Quentin Tarantino movie. Am I even speaking to anyone but myself? Upon reflecting back on what I have now written I see that I am instructing others to do when I of course should practice what I preach… thankfully I fully intend to do just that. I’m tired of living the same mundane life that countless other singles out there are living. No more of the phony mask that I put on for the rest of the world, here I am in all of my ridiculous glory… love me or hate me, frankly I don’t really give a damn. My goals aren’t to be the model employee anymore, the trendy club-goer, the crazy partier or even the closet nerd in the corner. My goal in life is simply to go to sleep tonight with a clear head and wake up tomorrow and demand that it be the best damn day in my life… if for some reason it isn’t, no worries; tomorrow is another day.

Currently listening to: Placebo - Running Up That Hill

Tags: Happiness, Life, Ramblings